Well here we are. In the midst of a complete and utter meltdown of the toddler sort.
It’s been building for weeks. We should have recognized a severe failure of the toddler reactor system was imminent.
For too long, Dear Husband and I rationalized these incidents as a direct outcome of tiredness, illness and hunger.
But today…we face the wretched truth.
Failures in control systems (consistent follow through by mom and dad) has induced a series of events resulting in stoppage of toddler cooling. This has created a loss of pressure control causing the toddler’s fuel assemblies (aka emotions) to overheat and melt.
Contemporary parenting principles are applied to make such accidents unlikely however, recent, repeated control systems failure has led to this most unfortunate release of toddler tantrums into the home environment.
To prevent subsequent failures, DH and I recognize we need to change our parenting approach. And so, we have implemented the following control measures:
- – frequently reminding one another that temper tantrums are a natural part of child development
- – creating an action plan to address an imminent emotional breach (aka identify pre-tantrum triggers) to stop it in its tracks
- – proven to ourselves that staying calm and ignoring the outbursts is effective – as long as you can stay calm and ignore the outbursts
- – providing love and reassurance post-tantrum makes everyone feel better
As parents we understand our roles in preventing a breach of the primary emotional pressure boundary…but jeez…sometimes it’s hard.
This is my entry for Day One of the Five for Five blog meme hosted by Jen and Sarah at Momalom.com. Today’s prompt is “change”. I’ve never blogged five days in a row and am looking forward to the challenge!
There a ton of submissions already on Momalom.com so go check them out!
* Meltdown image sourced via www.christianculture.biz
14 Responses to “Meltdown central”
Kelly
Staying calm is the hardest part! I do not envy you the tantrums, but did get a good chuckle out of the reactor metaphor!
melgallant
Ugh, thanks Kelly! We were almost at our wits end today. Needed a bit of reset in our approach to DD’s tantrums…
Naptimewriting
Ugh. Yes.
Had two moderate tantrums today, not to the “we have to go so will you walk or shall I carry?” choices (his reply to all of those today was “No. Not that.”) But to perfectly innocuous things. I picked up a water bottle off the floor and there was 20 minutes of screaming and wailing and shoving if I approached. No, he wasn’t playing with the bottle. No, he hadn’t put it there. Being 2 is just too much. Just way too much.
And because it’s my second child, I offered comfort, accepted my rebuke, and turned my back a few feet away so I could laugh.
The world is too much when you have no power. But those of us who *should* have the power and don’t? Well, we can take it a bit more in stride.
Sometimes.
Good luck. We’ll all need it. Because Three is infinitely worse than Two.
melgallant
That’s the kicker – when the tantrums come from a perfectly innocuous event. I just look at my daughter and wonder, where is this coming from?
A tantrum now and then is okay to handle but when it’s everyday…exhausting.
p.s. You aren’t the first person to tell me that Three is infinitely worse than Two. Hooray… 🙂
Nancy
Zac’s been relatively calm as of late – only a matter of time before systems go critical.
Current trigger is generally “Zac-y do SELF!” (translation: I can do ‘it’ by myself thankyouverymuch).
melgallant
Oh Nancy, I know that “do it myself” line well. It’s like…okay, go ahead but stop shouting at me. Sigh…
Stacia
“Jeez. sometimes it’s hard.”
Indeed! Most days, I want to throw a tantrum, too.
melgallant
Stacia…me too. 🙂
Emmalina
Oh how I hear you! These years are tough, there is no reasoning with them and the years of no sleep take its toll…oh wait that’s me! It does pass, it does get easier, they do settle down and you will survive. It is also useful to look at dietary cues, things like dairy or wheat intolerance, reaction to an additive or colouring (you’d be surprised how they sneak them in there) can make things much worse. I also love Bach’s Rescue Remedy, for mother and child!
melgallant
You always bring a fresh and humorous perspective to parenting, Emma. Thank you! I’ll check out the recommendation for Bach’s Rescue Remedy.
I’ve been wondering about DD’s diet too. I had intolerance to wheat and diary as a child…could be rearing its ugly head in DD too.
Chantal
Honestly I have done this 3 times and it sucks every.single.time. And the the thought that 2 is worse than three makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry because two is pretty challenging with this one. On a positive note, my 11 year old almost never has a tantrum 😉
ayala
Mel, it will get better 🙂 xo
Jen @ Momalom
Love this! So true. So funny. So totally infuriating!
Jen @ Momalom
Wait! I wasn’t done. Anyway, I was going to also say that I love the way you approach this topic of toddler meltdowns (that every parent is an expert on) in such a unique way. And, oh the cute. There’s a reason for that, y’know? Thanks for linking up! (OK, now I’m done.)